Comments : Everything is sweeter

  • 11 years ago

    by Seronum

    Beautiful Piece you have written. Keep up the great writing 5/5!

  • 11 years ago

    by Greg Beam

    I usually dont care for free verse poems cuz most of them are hard to read. but this was a very easy read. great job. very good flow and word usage. keep up the great writing!

  • 11 years ago

    by Miu

    Aww so beautiful.. Love makes everything sweeter every single day... Amazing poem! Great flow and touched me :) Keep up the great work!

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wonderful write once again, however; I felt the structure needs work, you have it in paragraphs rather than stanzas. Break it up into stanzas and the structure will be much better.

    For example take this, "Waking up knowing that every step, every breath,every glance, is going to be better than yesterdays. Smiling a luminous smile at each passing day, and enjoying all that is changing."

    And change it into stanzas like this,

    "Waking up knowing that every step,
    every breath, and every glance,
    is going to be better than yesterdays. Smiling a luminous smile at each passing day,
    and enjoying all that is changing."

    Flows much better because the reader now knows where to stop and begin, the structure is much better as well.

    Other than that small detail, I loved your word choice and punctuation. Great Job!

    Peace, Joe

  • 11 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Opps, take the "Smiling a luminous smile at each passing day," in my example of a stanza and make it a new line, so it reads...

    "Waking up knowing that every step,
    every breath, and every glance,
    is going to be better than yesterdays.
    Smiling a luminous smile at each passing day,
    and enjoying all that is changing."

  • 11 years ago

    by Roses and lilys

    I loved it. That is what my world is like now with my bf. I also liked the word choice. Keep up the great work. 5/5