Well first off thanks for the comment on my poems and make sure u check out my other ones too. Now...i really loved this poem because i know exactly what youre talking about and i gotta say u have talent so dont let nobody tell u that u dont.
Haunted eyes and torn up hearts,
Proving the past is real,
Telling that memories cause pain,
Showing why I've chosen not to feel.
Show much emotion released through this stanza.
The title fits the content of the write perfectly.
Thank-you for commenting on my poem, always appreciated.
We could of blended our poems together in a collab and they would of fit perfectly.
This is the first poem i've read by you, so i'll try not to typecast your work before getting a fuller picture of your style, but i'm a little unimpressed.
Your ideology is fairly recycled and i enjoy reading work that feels a little more organic, or at least has a different approach to a common feeling/thought.
I think what's thrown me off a little is your rhythm. I have no objections to using a definitive structure when writing, so long as other elements aren't sacrificed. In this case, your rhythm suffers because of your want to rhyme.
"Broken promises and silent screams,
A final message to all,
Telling how a soul is broken,
Demonstrating that even the best fall."
Your last line is far too long.
Perhaps try smething more along the lines of..
"Evidence the best can fall."
However, you don't seem to have any difficulty expressing yourself, so perhaps play about with some of your lines to fix the flow and your write will definitely improve.
Woooooooooooooooooooooow your goooood your so good with your words i really love your poemsss you dont just give me my thoughts to like this poem but it inspires me to become a better poet=]] good work i hope yah do more poems i'll enjoy reading all ov them ba yea see yah
ps.imma put you on my fave poem writers lol
Another great example of how you must translate yourown experiences into at least something positive within your own writing.
Hopefully life's events will change one day to allow you to adapt your obvious skills into more 'positive' topics.