Comments : Numb

  • 10 years ago

    by Melly

    I really loved this one, you did a really well
    job. great work!

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara

    Aww....amzing beautiful poem! i know exactly what you are talking about...but anyways great job with the poem
    ----tara

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara

    Aww....amzing beautiful poem! i know exactly what you are talking about...but anyways great job with the poem
    ----tara

  • 10 years ago

    by Poetic Grunt

    Know what you are saying good job kid must say that yiou have talent!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by fvalconbridge

    "Dark days and waking nightmares,
    Never to disappear,
    Telling of unhappy existence,
    Creating lives of fear."

    loved that part!!! i gave this a 5 out of 5.The flow rhyming and structure was all excellent, the tital gripped me stright away and it fit the poem perfectly. Keep up the good work :)

    x

  • 10 years ago

    by 3qually M3asur3d

    Well first off thanks for the comment on my poems and make sure u check out my other ones too. Now...i really loved this poem because i know exactly what youre talking about and i gotta say u have talent so dont let nobody tell u that u dont.

  • 10 years ago

    by Lu

    Haunted eyes and torn up hearts,
    Proving the past is real,
    Telling that memories cause pain,
    Showing why I've chosen not to feel.
    ^^^
    Show much emotion released through this stanza.
    The title fits the content of the write perfectly.
    Thank-you for commenting on my poem, always appreciated.
    We could of blended our poems together in a collab and they would of fit perfectly.

    Take care and have a wonderful weekend
    Luanne

  • 10 years ago

    by xo kisses xo

    Thats really deep and i can feel the emotion that was put intoo it. very well done 5/5

    xo kisses xo

  • 10 years ago

    by Ironic Allure

    This is the first poem i've read by you, so i'll try not to typecast your work before getting a fuller picture of your style, but i'm a little unimpressed.

    Your ideology is fairly recycled and i enjoy reading work that feels a little more organic, or at least has a different approach to a common feeling/thought.

    I think what's thrown me off a little is your rhythm. I have no objections to using a definitive structure when writing, so long as other elements aren't sacrificed. In this case, your rhythm suffers because of your want to rhyme.
    For instance:
    "Broken promises and silent screams,
    A final message to all,
    Telling how a soul is broken,
    Demonstrating that even the best fall."

    Your last line is far too long.
    Perhaps try smething more along the lines of..
    "Evidence the best can fall."

    However, you don't seem to have any difficulty expressing yourself, so perhaps play about with some of your lines to fix the flow and your write will definitely improve.

    L.x

  • 10 years ago

    by claire

    This is a great poem!! little depressing, but amazing. you are def. rlly talented!!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Skulblaka Sverda

    Another great one! :-)

  • 10 years ago

    by SpEcIaLmE

    Very emotional and well written, a great piece of work :) your talented
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by OvShak

    I thought there was a good flow to this poem
    you did a good job
    5/5

  • Woooooooooooooooooooooow your goooood your so good with your words i really love your poemsss you dont just give me my thoughts to like this poem but it inspires me to become a better poet=]] good work i hope yah do more poems i'll enjoy reading all ov them ba yea see yah
    ps.imma put you on my fave poem writers lol

    ~*~Christal~*~

  • 9 years ago

    by Not

    I love this poem..imma add it to my faves..!!=)

  • 9 years ago

    by TillyMariex

    Wow this is wonderfully written <3

  • 9 years ago

    by J Avery Johnson

    Nice piece of work... I'll keep reading

  • 9 years ago

    by Neil Marsden

    Another great example of how you must translate yourown experiences into at least something positive within your own writing.
    Hopefully life's events will change one day to allow you to adapt your obvious skills into more 'positive' topics.
    Neil.

  • 9 years ago

    by TwistedAngel xx

    Wicked poem
    keep it up
    def one of my fav poems so far
    5/5
    top stuff
    xx

  • 9 years ago

    by A Phoenyx in Flight

    Wow this poem is sad and great i love it 5/5