Slipping

I like the set-up of this poem. it's really different and nice.

Hm. this was very short and in this short time you seemed to discuss a few topics, I think that if you were to stick to one topic it would make it much better. However I loved the flow to this poem. It was short and sweet, and some of the words were preaty good. I think that you should add a bit more to this poem. Add more descriptions and more feelings, but you have a nice beginning there.

It was one the short side, but stil it had enough emtion to carry it off. YOu did an excellent job on this one. as always. the flow was perfect, and the word choice was amazing. 5/5

I felt that this poem ended much to abruptly, and that your title wasn't a great one for this poem. I like the use of real-life details, but your vocabulary could have been so much stronger and unique. Instead, it seemed like you forced lines into the poem just to make it longer and so it would rhyme. It was a good topic to choose, just executed badly.

Aww its really short :) but you really spend your time on this poem! Every line has rhymes.

but all >your< doing is smirking.
Its you're :)

TC