Whole Heart

by Molly Elizabeth   May 3, 2007


My darling
my love, oh how i miss you so
even with our time apart
my feelings for you grow.
and when we are together,
oh it's so amazing
the passion in your kisses
has got me going crazy.
and when you make me cry
the tears won't come to an end,
until your embrace saves me
and my heart is whole again.

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  • 16 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    "My love, My darling;
    Oh how i miss you so,
    Even with our time apart,
    My feelings for you grow.
    And when we are together,
    Oh it's so amazing,
    The passion in your kisses,
    Has got me going crazy.
    And when you make me cry,
    The tears won't come to an end,
    Until your embrace saves me,
    And my heart is whole again."

    I think a few corrections make it eaiser for the reader to get the correct flow.

    The poem, imo, was great.
    I loved how it rolled off your tongue.
    Not forced at all, just full of raw emotion.
    Well done there. :]

    My favourite part was
    "And when you make me cry,
    The tears won't come to an end,
    Until your embrace saves me,
    And my heart is whole again"

    I liked this because it shows how the person you love can make you feel pain, but can always fix it.
    It showed the power of love.
    Well doooone all together.
    I liked the message, You made it personal but I for one could relate. :]

    x