YOU MUST ENTER A TITLE

by Laybelled with a name   May 9, 2007


And my mind is blank.

With cigarette butts lying hopelessly on the ground,
be carefully you might stand on them,
don't move!

And my heart it stops,

I wider if we shot the flock of flying birds,
would they stare at us with their evil little eyes,
don't shoot!

And my body crumbles,

When you told me i was a b**ch, when people were b**Ching about me,
Why cant you see?

I'm more Innocent then the elephant in the Zoo, trying to feeds her piglets!
Saying, "Moo! I am a dog, and why did you steal my oxygen thank?"

Is life just a show, or is it something meaningful to you, smelly you.,
Why are you a b**ch?
A mean cold which,
Just cause we broke up,
Can you not move on.,
And now I've messed up this poem!
Or was it meant to be a song?

WELL I JUST DON'T KNOW!
Like the dog trying to chase his tale, and then running into a coal-mine.

Can you just see!
The possibilities of OPENING YOUR EYES!

And now the steady beat shall slow...
.
.
.
.
.And my breathing shall commence..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.As I lose the pills....
.
.
.
.
.
.I've been taking for the last week and a half and twice every second day.

Why is my rainbow raining?
And why is everyone turning around in circles like little dots on a frying pan, now this is making me hungry,

SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?

I DON'T NO WAT THIS IS!

But I am content!!!
With my earwig and a box of cigarettes, maybe a lighter if I remember.

0


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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by firexdancer

    Wow, this is an amazing poem... your style is so surprising...... the only thing wrong was your spelling, you misspelled lots of the words and it kinda sets the reader off a bit..
    but great job.
    i wish i could get my feelings out like that.
    4/5
    gabriella

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    This was... different. I liked it, but I'm sure I would have preferred it much more if you had used an actual structure. It just sort of seemed all over the place.

    You had an awful lot of mistakes, too. First of all, don't overuse exclamation marks (!!!). It doesn't look poetic. Also, you seemed to capitalise in the most random places, too. Don't do that, there's no need.

    "Why is my rainbow raining?" - I loved that line.