Comments : A Broken Child, A Broken Home

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    Do you not know how tear-jerking and nerve-wraking this work is, Bryan? I think you do; and so do I. The fact that it was based on a factual piece of information made it more relevant by dedicating it to the unfortunate boy. May he rest in peace and find true happiness in God's care.
    My pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing! Love, Debbie

  • 16 years ago

    by Marie

    It's so beautiful.. but so sad... love the rhyme scheme.. rhythm's a little off in some places but everything else is amazing

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Bryan
    What a painful and heart wrenching piece. This brought the tears. This story you put to verse is excellent.

    so now he wishes he had a new mom and dad,
    to take away the pain, so he wont be so sad.
    His wish comes true, they write his name on a stone,
    now he will stay with Jesus forever, now he is not alone.

    Hopefully this child found peace.
    How very sad that this happens in our world. Children are God's greatest gift. How very sad that there are parents that abuse them.
    Take care your friend Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Wow bryan this peice of poetry was just outstanding i really do not know what to say to this im just in shock. The emotion i felt reading this poem was purely beautifully sad. Well done with this definitly 5/5~mel

  • 16 years ago

    by Perfection

    This was excellent bryan... The idead was meaningful and the poem itself is a great piece of writing... I loved the way it ends as well although I know its a sad situation

    A great poem Bryan =)

  • 16 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    OMG Bryan! I would've cried too! What a sad thing! My best friend was abused and stories like this always touch me. A very well-written poem babe! 5.5 as always! Keep up your amazing work!

    <3

  • 16 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    Im almost crying, it's sad, no child should ever go through that. a great poem, the flow is great keep up the good work!5/5
    kisses stephanie

  • 16 years ago

    by im his bbygrl

    Hey. wow i love this poem!!!! i am in foster care and i like it. i was lucky enough to go to a good home. but this poem is very sad....but good.

    xoxo,manda babii

  • 16 years ago

    by jessica

    Omg wow... umm idk what to say... that was a very sad poem and it made me cry... i hate it when parents abuse their children it make s me sick

  • 16 years ago

    by debbylyn

    What a dark and haunting poem...to think it goes on...no child deserves such a fate! Very well written and powerful...All the best, Debbie

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Oh my god.. That was really sad. Beautifully penned! I really pitty the boy :( Language use is good.. I can really feel the pain in your words. 5/5!

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Aw. This is terribly sad. I loved the poem, though. It was beautifully written, and it almost made me cry. You have a real talent when it comes to writing.

    5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by beautiful xx disaster

    Wow. i dont think ive ever read a poem thats made my eyes as like watery as this did.
    its amazing.
    youve got so much talent.
    keep it up.
    <3jess

  • 16 years ago

    by Estefania

    Wow really sad poem! makes u really think,

  • 16 years ago

    by mimzy

    I'm speechless..

  • 16 years ago

    by Mihaela

    I like this poem the most cause belive me,I know what that kid felt.God help all the kids and bless them with a good and lovely family,cause everyone deserve this.Congratulation once again and don't stop writing,you're a great poet.Best regards,Miha xXx

  • 16 years ago

    by Sandra D

    Wow... this brought tears to my eyes.
    this is an amazing piece. it's so full of sadness and i really connected to it. i love the way you described howhe kept moving around but no one anywhere cared about him. no one tried to protect him.
    the flow was good... and it surprized me how you could rhyme all that with none of them seeming forced.
    youre an amazing writer, great job!
    5/5

    ~Sandra

  • 16 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    First off, congrats on placing 1st in my contest Copy Cat. You really deserved it. And I'm sorry it took so long to comment, but here it goes.
    Comment #1
    This poem is so unbelievably amazing! I mean that is SO tragic and yet SO true. How sad today's world is. But that poem has such an amazing impact on all who read it. Incredible job! Looking forward to reading the other 9 :)!
    ~Midnight Sun

  • 16 years ago

    by Somber Esprit

    Wow! that's really good poem! So sad. well written, i couldn't look away! you have a wonderful style and i love your poems. There's so much emotion. you express it really well! well done.

  • 16 years ago

    by Hillstar123

    This poem is so sad. I'm really sad to hear about things that children have to go through. T_T