The flow of your work is fine and your message is some what clear but I think your work could go alot more deeper and have more power if you would learn to explain to the reader the true cause for the emotions that drive your work just a thought Plot121
This wass a beautifully dark piece of poetry, i loved the emotion and how you portrayed it throughout the entire piece, it really flowed beautifully. The word choice was simple yet powerful and the discription was amazing. Well done 5/5/~mel
I really like this poem but the first stanza.. it seems like it was wayyy overbaord with the rhyming.. but OTHER THAN THAT i LOVED THE FLOW it was really good.. there is nothing about it that I would want to change so keep up the good work!!
This poem is so deep...it really makes me think when i read it and i feel like i should read it 50 times in order to really understand it. My favorite line was: "But then one day
so full of hot pain.
The heart just gave out
never to beat again" keep it up your a great writter..5/5