The darkness closes in,
and hatred sets in,
consuming the once red heart.
Now black as night,
from all the pain and hate.

Beautiful wrk!!!.just lovely n dark..but nicely penned..the poem has it's own charm!.kp it up!5/5!
xxPoojaxx

Wow. This poem had lots of emotion hidden inside it. You made the poem flow, and you created something that really made sense. It reminds me of the heartless on Kingdom hearts! Great job!

The flow of your work is fine and your message is some what clear but I think your work could go alot more deeper and have more power if you would learn to explain to the reader the true cause for the emotions that drive your work just a thought Plot121

Beautiful just love it! Specially the heart discription and the thoughts in the poem. It keeps people reading:) Amazing poem! 5/5

This wass a beautifully dark piece of poetry, i loved the emotion and how you portrayed it throughout the entire piece, it really flowed beautifully. The word choice was simple yet powerful and the discription was amazing. Well done 5/5/~mel

Wow, i can feel the hurt in this one. grat job 5/5

It was deep and dark. And it painted a dreary image. It was very good. A job well done. 5/5

A great dark poem, good expression and the feeling throughout is palpable. I loved it. Simple words with great meaning 5/5

Dark and sad, perfectly written. The flow was good, the emtion was strong, and the words descrpitive, I liked this one the best so far, 5/5 for you deserve nothing less.

I liked this poem alot i found it to be quite dark and sad. The ryhme shceme was interesting you pulled it off very well. THe first stanza was my fav. Capturing. Well done~mel

I really like this poem but the first stanza.. it seems like it was wayyy overbaord with the rhyming.. but OTHER THAN THAT i LOVED THE FLOW it was really good.. there is nothing about it that I would want to change so keep up the good work!!

This poem is so deep...it really makes me think when i read it and i feel like i should read it 50 times in order to really understand it. My favorite line was: "But then one day
so full of hot pain.
The heart just gave out
never to beat again" keep it up your a great writter..5/5

Excellent, even the view of the poem is so catching. Great 5/5 from me:-)

Well, I gave it a 5/5 for it fits the category you put this peice in, but the emotion was too dull for me. Other than that the flow and stanzas were great.

Great poem. 5/5
Ravyn

Now welcoming the pain
and so full of unforgotten pain.
[[Don't use the same word within two stanzas of each other. It's distracting.]]

However.
I really liked the idea of this poem and I enjoyed the ending.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure what else to say.
But. Yeah.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Chilling...i want to read more by you!

Like to read your poems!
specialy those with much emotion in it.
keep on writing
5/5

-blackstar