Comments : Hello, Little Girl

  • 16 years ago

    by Kaila

    Very good
    I think the title fits fine
    nice figuritve language
    great words
    your vocab is superb
    5/5
    your amazing
    kaila

  • 16 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    *the title is catchy by the way*

    I like it you're really talented! :) I like the theme in this poem! XD it was unique! haha. anyway flow was flawless well done! keep writing! I really love reading your poems haha! 5/5 as always!

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    The tittle goes well.
    This poem is a little disturbing, but in a true way..
    So many older men are falling for younger women..
    I know I have been stalked and almost rapped by my ex friends dad. Long story..
    But this poem gives me the chills. It sparks memories that i have tried to forget- memories I will never rid myself of.
    Amazing job- it was well written, and the flow was perfect.
    Keep It up,
    Elaine

  • 16 years ago

    by Filledwithjoy

    I reckopn this is a good idea but sick at the same time! Its good how you captured what he does with such detail n relate it to other stuff lol. i think its good!

  • 16 years ago

    by Heidi Harover

    I wasnt really in to that one, because that kinda stuff REALLY freaks me out. Nicely written, though.

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Wow. I think the title should be incest. Lol, very powerful poem, although I think you should get in touch with some more punctuation because I couldn't help but notice the absence of some important punctuation signs amidst your poem.
    The poem is wonderful, and however confusing and disgusting, it's beautiful.

    Well written,
    5/5
    ~Stephen White

    (I wonder what the title of that contest was...........)

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    WHOA . First off, yes the title fits . Second, wow . Wow wow wow wow wow . That`s all I can say right now . In the third stanza (I think it was) , I feel like the last rhyme threw it off , but it was still good . I feel like you touched this topic good . Like in your other two poems -- You really know how to pull a reader in .
    Just well done (:
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 16 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    I think that the title is good but it only sort of fits it works now that i have read the poem in full.. but when i began i thought it was going to be about a older man liking a minor in a sick way but and not a daughter

    however.. the poem is still good.. a little simple i think some more detail could be added but you chose perfect words for what you did say.. excellent job

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    You are deep and not afraid to tackle taboo subjects. This is another excellent write.

  • 16 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Wow, now that was a chilling read. Really, it gave me shivers. You handled the topic really well, and produced a very good poem. Nicely penned, indeed.

  • 16 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    You asked me to comment this poem but i already have, i still remember wat i wrote i still love this poem tho!

  • 16 years ago

    by Victoria Rainey

    THe title may not fit a little bit the poem itself is relly good and has a flow so there isn't really anything about it that I would change.. srry but good job and keep up with the work

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Yeah i do think the title fits for this poem. I like this. Its intresting in a weird sort of way. Reading the title i instantly thought about abuse though. Dont know why. Yet its in the love poem section this confused me a little. The next two lines doesnt make the man seem human. This again rel;ates back to the abuse thing. The begining of the secound stanza makes you think, "Aww". Then the younger woman he prefers raises questions over morals and makes you wonder. You talk about a subject thats kinda... different.. A really unique read. Makes you think. I suggest you use a more varied punctuation though. Keep it up! xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    The title does fit, and it was a good poem. I really liked it, it was sad but really honest and truhtful
    well done
    xxxxx

  • 16 years ago

    by Boy

    Well it was good. just love your poem. 5/5