Comments : White Hunter, Black Heart

  • 10 years ago

    by bleeding limegrenn

    Amazing poem i liked the kine that was"The purest land that held no fears"...kepp up the good poems

  • 10 years ago

    by Boy

    My firend,

    its the truth. and i am happy that you wrote it very well. you put here an excellent job and piece ofo work..
    the uses ofwords was so great in your this poem. you have alot of talent. and May God Bless you.
    Even today we're only safe to a certain degree,
    Always beware of, White Hunter, Black Heart.

    very nicely end. great work i will must give you 5/5.

    take care

  • 10 years ago

    by Startle Me

    Your second stanza.
    I think it's just an extra.
    Something to fill up the page.
    You don't really need it.

    Third stanza was flawless.

    It was pretty good.
    I loved your vocabulary, flow, and rhythm.

    Only thing your missing is emotion.
    But still, 5/5?

  • 10 years ago

    by Roses and lilys

    I liked it. It had a strong message. The flow was nice and the word choice was truly great. I also liked the format of the poem. I gave it a 5/5.

  • 10 years ago

    by Debbie

    "Oceans couldn't store a [country's] tears." - or countries'...

    Very nicely written. I liked the imagery you depicted in every line and stanza--simply vivid in nature. Also, the message was outstanding in forsooth. Not much of a critique here. It's a fine work. 5/5

    Marian

  • 10 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Hmm, I think I like it to be frank. Frank Sinatra. Seriously, good poem and great topic. How original, Karly! White hunter, black heart...that's great imagery and blah blah, but it kind of degrades the hearts of Africans. Are you saying their hearts are any different than the hearts of "White Man's"? Be careful!

    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Because the point you should be trying to make is that we are all equal on the inside. Yep.

  • 10 years ago

    by silvershoes

    And that is the point you are trying to make, ok yeah, but black hearts...that doesn't come off very well. Maybe I'm being a tweaker.

  • 10 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    Beautifully penned, well done I like the language use in the poem, flow was smooth throughout the poem, Excellent choice of words! Fantastic poem. 5/5!

    And uhm I'm just curious did you base this poem in a movie/film?

  • 10 years ago

    by Live WeLL

    WOW..i LOVE the first stanza..not only is the flow amazing but it is just a great start.. i love the topic you chose to write about and i love the way you wrote it.. it is perfect..

    Skin colors drastically different, but affection,
    Forever dwells in white and black the same.

    Those 2 lines are great. I love the way you write your poems. You make them so powerful and they explain so much in such a short amount of time. Excellent job. I really love your stuff. 5/5 again =]

  • 10 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Well thought out and put together. Good imagery and flow. Nice job!

  • 10 years ago

    by e LIZ a beth

    OH MY GOD!, this poem was amazing. i loved the words you used, it was so vivid. and the ending was amazing. i loved the rhym sceme you used. and the last stanza was amazing!! this poem is going on my favorites. i love how it was a poem that was written about something real and the description you used was so well done, it was very vivid and i loved it. great job!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Fluffy

    "Nappy locks of hair and dark complexion,
    African hearts the white man cannot claim,
    Skin colors drastically different, but affection,
    Forever dwells in white and black the same."

    The story of the poem was well captured and brilliantly penned. With an unblemished flow and rhyme, powerful word choice and emotive language – you delivered and enforced the message in a distinct and mature manner. Very well done, Karlo :).

  • 10 years ago

    by Georgi

    Wow. i havent been speechless about a poem for quite some time,but this! wow.
    i absolutely lovedt this and im going to vote for it to win the poetry contest. this is beautiful and inspiring and heartfelt and i LOVED it.
    Geo

  • 10 years ago

    by XcrissyX

    Omg this poem is amazing!!

  • 10 years ago

    by WRITING IS MY ESCAPE

    Nice poem!!

    read my poems please
    thankyou!

  • 10 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Good poem, with sort of a narrow view....... much of World history and US history left out....slavery was a worldwide problem....not just one of the US and it affected all races not just black and white.....as for the US today...we're becoming more homogenous as the years pass.....

  • 10 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    This is beautiful...certainly one of your best by far.
    The opening stanza grips the reader and pulls them in, with each stanza from there becoming more and more powerful.
    The imagery portrayed creates vivid pictures, flow is flawless throughout, the whole pieces moves with such a fluid motion and the ending is hardhitting and intense...beautiful.

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Yes the flow is flawless, and the abab rhyme sceme was delivered with skill in this free style poem. The repetition of "forced" and "white man" was effective in setting the tone of this piece
    I believe the point was made. 5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Wow this was really effin amazing, I am stunned. The word choice was brillant, and the imgeray was vivid, The emtion was strong and clear, the flow was flawless, and the message was powerful, this is one of the best poems I have read all night, keep them coming. 5/5