Under appreciated

Do you know what if feels like,
to strive just to shine?
Do you know what it feels like,
to live in a world like mine?
Do you know what it feels like,
to be left out in the dark?
Do you know what it feels like,
to be the target of every mark?

I bet you couldn't live,
a day in my shoes dear.
And I haven't lived a day,
I've lived 14 long years.
14 long years of patience,
14 long years of loss.
And not once have I had a hope of tomorrow,
and in my mind good thoughts never cross.

I've tried to prove myself oh so many times,
but it never seems to be worth it.
Because no one ever sees what I am inside,
so I regret even trying, I regret every bit.
Being screamed at and looked down upon,
it's merely just life.
Hears and guilt are the only thing,
that keep me away from the knife.

So sweetheart when you ask me why I feel so low,
can't you see how long I've waited?
I've tried so hard to prove every feeling I've felt,
and all these emotions lay under appreciated.