Nice flow. I liked the narrated part to it. you shouldve kept up the rhyming that wouldve made it awesome.

if you dont mind, can you read my poem and tell me what you think. you may pick it to pieces. i'm really not sure with it. i want to also know if it sounds complete. so if you dont mind.

thnks
=]

Another great poem by you dear, your words are so emotional that kept me in the world of poetry.
great job
keep it up

The flow was great throughout this poem I found it to be strong and powerful with great emotions which you portrayed so beautifully sad throughout this entire piece. I liked the ryhming at the start I think you should of kept it throughout the whole poem. This was great well done on writing such a heartfelt piece of poetry. Well done a good effort ~mel

Overall I liked it. Nice rhyme scheme. Sometimes some of the sentence structures were awkward and didn't really work grammatically but other than that, good job.

I thought this was really good. It has a lot of emotion behind the words.. Very good job. I really liked this one i might just read a few more when i get more time(if that ever happends lol) anyway Keep writing your an awesome poet!.. 5/5

Wow...I loved this. Whatever anyone else says, it was amazing. It was so deep and emotional and the flow was very smooth. I really liked how much you put into it. I'm so glad you're posting and writing again. This piece was beautiful, I can't wait to read more.
<3Raych

...Uh, not something I'm interested in. But it did flow well and I liked the images that came to mind during the piece. I do like the last two stanzas cuz well they went well together and tied up the piece quite nicely. It's just not something I'm into but I did find it was well done.
~Faith-less

"I've never felt such lonliness
While I watch the bubbles rise.
They're escaping with me here
Just waiting to die"

The imagery in those lines was perfect. You have a way with words. Beautiful poem dear : )

I especially love the ending but the whole poem is awesome. It's not one of my favorite out of your poems but it is deffinatly a good one.
~Marigold