Indeed, I think some of the lines need tightening up to augment the flow. Nevertheless, reading this piece quite amuses me, indeed. It rather was a fine piece of work. =] Keep it up. all the best and take care.
Amusing and cute, but do you really need to express your love for big breasts? Plus, that isn't very true. I've been to England many a time. Haha, ok...nice writing. I give you an A for effort (joking).