Nicely constructed with good rhyme and flow. I really enjoyed the internal rhyming...difficult to pull off sometimes, but you did it efortlessly without seeming forced....nicely done....all the best, Debbie
One of the best poems you have written, and definitely one of the best poems I have read on this site. When I think you're running out of ideas, you surprise me with such a beautiful piece of work. I love all the rhymes, and not a word was forced. You put my writing to shame. Maybe I should start spending more time on each poem. You've inspired me...in my pants.
Once again my karl i dont think u need more praise from me, sometimes it seems like there isnt anything u cant succeed in? some ppl are just bore with greatness thrust upon them, and some of us are placed there to acknowledge u and praise u..
after all the things that has been said and done between us, u still are..
"Or would you lick your wounds, accept defeat?"
^^ Might have been better with ' and accept defeat'. But, it does go with the poem and such.
I love the poem.
Completely. All the way.
It's amazing, like seriously truthful and worded perfectly.
"After all the broken hearts, we'll one day find,
Through all our questions, true love is blind,
Though a million things could knock us off our feet,
Always remain discreet, for sweet, love's deceit. "
I love when people end poems strongly, and you did. Really really strong.
Beautiful job. truly a work of poetic art. i loved it. each word went together perfectly with the other. the rhyme was lovley. please keep writing. your very talented. and you truly do have "mad skills with a pencil"
11 years ago
After all the tears you've cried, the broken pride,
Through all the times they've lied, the pain inside,
amazing lines, the way you capture the idea and describe it in your words is just great, the rhyming was perfect, and i cannot find anything wrong with it, 5/5
I agree with with Sweet Fragility, this poem is very powerful. Did yo changed the inward rhyme for effect of ws it accidental, or idd you even mean to rhyme at all, I find myself developing ryme scheme accidentally.
Great rythm and flow. wonderful title. and i also liked it how you added rhetorical questions. always helps me reflect. i don't know if you noticed this but the last word on the last line of each stanza is a D word except for stanza four. i can't help but feel it would be awesome if instead of ignore it was a D word. but the word ignore still goes well. i guess i just get fussy lol sorry. well done