I'm just too tired

When people look at me
they only see a smiling mask
and never take the time to look beyond it,
to truly look deep in my eyes
and see the pain that's there.

They see a smiling, laughing girl
that loves to make people laugh,
whose eyes people say are full of mischief
and who they think is so confidant and strong
and someone who they think can help them.

They never see the ghosts that haunt me,
the tears I try so hard not to shed,
the unbearably deep seated loneliness
and the need to have strong arms wrap around me
that might love me and want to help me cope.

When most people look at me
they see a girl thats going places
and won't let anything hold her back,
what you never see is that I'm barely holding on
and almost ready to quit.

I'm almost completely burning out
without much more to give,
my heart and soul are exhausted
and no amount of rest can help me,
I'm just too tired to keep on fighting.

I've dealt with so much stuff already
and try to hold everyone together
but I'm only just one young girl
and I can't save everyones worlds
I'm just too tired to keep going.

I'm tired of fighting all the wars
and having to stay strong for everyone
I just want to be taken care of
and for me to be able to lean on someone
and rest my head for a while.

There's no time to rest though
because my family is dissolving in pieces,
my friends need support and strength,
my brother needs raising and extra time
so when will it all calm down?

I'm tired of heartbreaks and loneliness
and crying myself to sleep alone
can I just let go of this life
and slip away in the night
and find my rest in the grave?