Death upon true love

by Brandon   Sep 1, 2007


I took the black rose
u gave me upon our first date
i couldn't figure out why
cause its the sign of death
but i took it anyways,
the thorns stuck in to me
like burning needles
at what i thought was the pain of saying i love you
but it came to be the pain of death,
upon my last dieing word....
ILL NEVER FORGET

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Nix

    It could be little longer and you could use some metaphors that will create stronger atmosphere. Anyway nice poem, I like the category you chose for your first piece. It is very interesting.

  • 11 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Awww...hunn you did a great job of putting your emotions into this you did a wonderful job writing this poem 5/5 <33

    one suggestion: dont make the poem a paragraph seperate it like this
    I took the black rose u gave me
    upon our first date
    i couldn't figure out why
    cause its the sign of death
    but i took it anyways,
    the thorns stuck in to me
    like burning needles
    at what i thought was the pain of saying i love you
    but it came to be the pain of death,
    upon my last dieing word....
    ILL NEVER FORGET