Hell that was geat. I mean wonderful. Everything came form the heart. Words went straight to my heart soooooo touching. Were did you learn to write so good? I wish that maybe some time way in the future i can write at least half as good as you! Loved it 5/5 form me.
A smile crept over her face a sparkle shown in her eyes the depth of this world touched her core.
^^^ That doesn't make sense. I suggest you reword it.
I like this entry, although I don't technically like how complex you try to make it. Sometimes, things are best simple, and it seems you tried, when writing this, to get too complex and, yet, it seems, it IS fluent. I don't know how quite you did it.
It made some sense, but it seems as if the description was almost perfect, yet a teensy-little bit too much, with no background information. You don't know about the character, only her emotion. Interesting, but not always the best way to go.
You don't know about why she is feeling what she is feeling, but you know what she's feeling...
I like how at the end, she realizes it was all just a dream, but it seems as if there wasn't enough dreaming, wasn't enough imagination.
It didn't seem to fit.
However, I like how you opened up the setting, as the nobody; When you ended it, that nobody because a somebody. A somebody with dreams. A somebody with emotions, with feelings, with passion and lust.
Well connected, though it could be due for a few revisions, but all in all it was a good short piece.
this was by far the best thing i have ever read
your words were perfect and i could relate to the emotion within those amazing words
I have to say out of all your poems Iâ€™ve read this is simply my favorite
This was just beautiful! I loved how your words lured me into another world. The vocabulary you used was flawlessly wonderful and the flow was amazing. I am curious to read more if this does become a book. Well done *5/5*
Hmm very nice story and great expressing all those words.. all the concept and the structures are very great! i love the whole stanza actually it has a deep meaning and the story was portrayed very well.. great job 5/5