When I Think Of You

My thoughts caress your memory
and a deep sigh follows.

Eyes glaze during a slow head turn to no where
to look at nothing, oblivious to all.

Frozen as any statue you'd care to name.
and I wish, like a statue,
for that moment,
I too was heartless.

So I wouldn't feel the twinge of desire,
the stab of if only
and the throttle of knowing its all too late.

Curse your memory,
those haunting memories,
that tease me, like the sea does a thirsty survivor.

You gave me hope then made me hopeless,
I'm a shadow of the shadow of who I once was.
And that's what really hurts:

It feels like I was never happy,
never loved,
all because...I tried to love you.