Excellent!

i can much effort and the will, to be honest this piece doesn't attract my attention, but behalf of it it was a great piece..i can good concept and great words in it..and it is filled with emotions

keep it up!

Wow.
Close to a free write, Sheena. How much I've watched your writing grow.
I remember a long time ago, over the telephone, I told you.. "It isn;t about form, it's about feeling." This is the farthest I've seen you take those words, even if they werent the ones in mind.
You did an amazing job with the visuals.. and to be frank, this is one of my favorites by you. Keep it up.

Man you blew me way with just the title your very talented. once again 5/5 and i will add this one too to my favorites.

Wow. it was oh so beautifully written, the way your words flow when you put them together is amazing, i loved every little word of this and it was truly a wonderful poem. 5/5 def. nicely penned

I felt this was a heartfelt write, however; I thought it was more of a story than a poem. The structure was more like paragraphs than stanzas in my opinion, but the flow was good. Overall good write, but not great.

Peace, Joe

I like the way that you put speech in this poem. I really can see a tale emerge from this and because of the length you allowed yourself to go into detail with this poem. nice write :D xxx alex xxx

The stars will answer if only you stop breathing - they don't like your oxygen.

Oh, the irony. Absolutely amazing. In fact, I'm not sure the rest of the poem is on par with it's brilliance.

That line really stands out to me, but I did enjoy the rest of the poem. It's an extremely unique poem, I've never really read anything quite like it.

However, there were some parts that didn't flow at all-- like the word passion, for example. It sounds like it fits, but throws off the rhythm a bit.

Still, this is a great poem. Nice work!

This was a good poem it was abit too long but the description was as always very well done good job plot121. Loved the structure as well.

Wow this poem was pretty good.. not your best but good in a way. I agree that it sounds more like a story than a poem but some of the lines in here are beautiful. I think if you were to make it in shorter stanzas it would look more like the poems we are used to reading and it would be easier to stay in the moment