The Hidden Emotions in my heart and soul.

Am I to lost in my own mind to be saved?
In a dark tunnel and no light at the end.

Only relying on my eyes to see and my soul to guide me.
Smiling on the outside, screaming and bleeding on the inside.

Lying everyday what am I supposed to do now?
Everyday is a struggle, every breath gets harder and harder to breathe.

Every tear that has fallen is a moment of happiness I will never get back.
An emotional battle waging an emotional war continuing everyday.

Hot tears streaming down my face,
thoughts of suicide racing through my head.

Such depression and from what? Such a loving family and wonderful friends,
what makes me cry everyday?

Is it the fact I have become a selfish, guilt-giving person that just wishes she knew who she was?
Or is it the fact that I wonder if this is who I really am?

Am I the same angel that I was, or did I change to a devil that I never wanted to be?

I am the very thing that I was afraid of.
No one knows of this, not even my best friend.

What is wrong with me? Is it just because I'm a teenager or am I going to be like this forever?

Am I angel? Or am I Demon? Everyone has both inside, but I feel like the Demon, the thing I was afraid of.

My emotions run wild, my thoughts are racing and my heart and soul are paying the price.

I gave this poem to my friend and she wrote me back a beautiful note it said:

Your not a bad person, and you deserve to live a long & happy life. Things always get worse before they get better, From rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up.
Enjoy the little things, your alive and healthy in this beautiful world world God created for you. So just close your eyes & breath every now & then & just start to live before you decide to die.