Beneath the Sun, A Summer Song [Wrapped Refrain]

by Twisted Heart   Sep 29, 2007


Beneath the sun, that sits tonight
I chanced to see the rays so bright
Upon my cheek I feel the breeze
That plays among my face with ease
Cascades of stars that hang with love
Bewitch the moon that glows above
Like silver loops of chain around your neck is strung
So is the sparkle in your eyes beneath the sun

A summer song, a lullaby
Lends to my ears, a fondness sigh
An honored guest from memories
Sweeps down tonight to comfort me
With arms that pull me up inside
And gives my soul a place to hide
A mystical tune, tells me that I belong
Swept up in this whimsy, wrapped in a summer song.

*******************************************************************
The Wrapped Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of 2 stanzas of 6 lines each;
Meter: 8,8,8,8,12,12 and Rhyme Scheme: a,a,b,b,c,c.

Refrain rule: In each stanza the first 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) in the first line must be
the last 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) at the end of the last line. This is what wraps each
stanza with a repeated refrain ...thus, the Wrapped Refrain.

Optional: The first stanza refrain and last stanza refrain can be joined (or loosely joined) together
for the title of the poem.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Kelsie

    This poem is breathtaking, it is composed so perfectly, the flow is amazing and the words you have chosen painted a beautiful picture in my mind. 5/5, amazing job.

  • 16 years ago

    by My Decadent

    Very vivid imagery.
    My favourite part of the poem was these two lines:
    "Cascades of stars that hang with love
    Bewitch the moon that glows above"
    --- I think you have a very beautiful imagery here. Very unique.
    Good work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Andrew Morton

    "Like silver loops of chain around your neck is strung
    So is the sparkle in your eyes beneath the sun"

    excellent simile in those lines, you create a very real image...another great one from you--keep up the good work!

    andrew

  • 16 years ago

    by *Charisma*

    Okay. so we all know we get tired of the "it's great" comments, like you said. LOL I enjoyed the fact that you tried writing in form poetry. That is so difficult for me. I always find it restricting, but have made it my goal to enter several poems in different forms. I mean, why not learn more of poetry right? I also wanted to thank you for your message to me on how to count flow and rhythm. I appreciate the suggestion, and am glad to know you enjoy my work, seeing as I was not sure you read it. LOL So that is a comfort and compliment to me. Once again, I appreciate your beautiful poetry and your suggestions!
    Charisma*

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