I Do Remember The Cold

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Oct 2, 2007


Better, catchier titles are on the look out. Any suggestions would be appreciated and considered. ^^
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If we shutter away the cold, it will only get colder. The particles will move to us and slow down again as soon as we stop moving. The cold's pressing closer; it's a little calming to me, the numbing sensation and the chill will reach our bones, and we will imagine it is even colder than before.

It snaps at our veins, that cold does.

They tell me it was dark where I was, but I seem to remember particles dancing to form objects that were really no certain shape, but are certainly something. If I wanted to remember correctly, the odors were baffling; a bright white, a dull neon grey, and red such as when you close your eyes and look into a light - that kind of red. The darkness surrounded me, so I closed my eyes (though it really didn't matter at this point) and I let the Devil buy my dreams.

If that noise hadn't awoken me, I'd like to have thought I'd have slept forever. How calming would that be, with the scarcity of human contact.

They told me it was cold where I was, so I asked them why I hadn't set myself on fire.
It would have been better than letting the bitter cold steal my breath.

I do remember the cold; I shuttered the chill away, but as soon as I stopped moving the particles slowed almost to a halt and stuck to my skin, invisible. I guess that's where I forgot everything - when the cold got so chilling it obscured my thoughts . . .
They told me it was dark where I was, so I asked them why I hadn't set myself on fire. If where I was was so cold that a fire couldn't warm the chill in my bones, I think I'd like to have stayed there.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow this is a very obscure poem.. I liked the way that you wrote it.. almost like paragraph form, I don't normally think that this style works but you made it unique. I also liked how you made it very vague so that the reader can interpurate whatever they want out of this poem weather that was your intention or not. To me it reminds me of a person being left alone in their own madness. Nice work. As for corrections I looked throught this poem and I couldn't find any that need fixing.

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    I loved how this guy in all the moments of the poem almost made the reader think the person in the poem was dieing very well done and dark good job Plot121

  • 16 years ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    I do remember the cold; I shuttered the chill away, but as soon as I stopped moving the particles slowed almost to a halt and stuck to my skin, invisible.

    The first part, "I do remember" reminds me of the bit in my profile. Why am I talking about reminders so much? I dont know or care. xD I wasnt as big of a fan of this as I am for your others.. but you did a good job all the same. A very good job. Your imagery is getting really strong and it's almost like a small story throughout my head.

    Good job, Sheena.

  • 16 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    I don't like the first stanza much, but I think it improves dramatically throughout.

    Seems mystical and definite. That probably doesn't make sense. The mystical part comes from the fact that the narrator of the poem seems somewhat dazed and confused. At the same time, though, they seem definite and as if they knew exactly what was happening. My favorite line was "They told me it was cold where I was, so I asked them why I hadn't set myself on fire. " Nice.

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Wow.
    It's different, very different. I don't think I've ever seen a poem set up this way. Well, I have a few times, but they didn't capture me. Lol. They were almost like stories, and that's it. This though, this is amazing, my dear. Seriously amazing.

    Keep up the great workkk. (:

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