Wow amazingly written
keep it up!
-Lisa

WOW! This piece just gets stronger towards the end! There are so many good lines in this.

Draws me to pain like an angler's lure

That line was awesome and soooo original!
*ME*

It was great, the emotions you expressed in this piece honestly just jumped out at me, i thought you did an amazing job on this and through the whole piece it just got stronger and stronger, nice work 5/5

nikki

This is wonderful. You have some great couplets - too many to single out. I do feel that the last verse is the weakest though, and that you could cut it...if you wanted.

But well done