Comments : Look Through My Eyes (contest)

  • 16 years ago

    by iloveyouandrew

    Wow I really like this poem!!
    Great Job
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by VYXSIN

    Love this one. another favourite. keep writing girl, i love your poems

  • 16 years ago

    by xxSuicidalxx

    Wow, awesome poem! Amazing job....great piece! Keep up the good work! I'll give this one a 5/5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Wallace

    Amazing, the flow was great and they got deeper and deeper after every line. Although I wasn't satisfied with the last line I think instead of 'fret' you should have put 'forget'. But very good work 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I can tell you put a lot of thought into this. I really liked how you said now look through my eyes.. those lines by far.. are my favorite. the created so much impact on the poem. I enjoyed this one a lot... agian those commas:

    When sadness drew, you went near.

    I bet your surprised now, however,

    Overall one of my favorite poems yet:

    Excellent Job:

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Shinobi

    A really interesting story. The flow was great, and so were the structure and rhymes. Again nothing bad I can relate to 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I think it's good for everybody to have to struggle a few times growing up, maybe have some hard times that change your life. We'll become better people as we grow if we have to endure hardships along the way. Excellent job 5/5 GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow, I like this a lot...
    Greatly written piece from the beginning to the end, so effective and captivating. Unique and refreshing dark poem, with powerful and haunting imagery. I like the flow of the whole piece and the deeply dark atmosphere that you created.
    My favorite stanza is:

    -Happiness came, happiness went,
    Only now its written to you clear.
    An A-B-C structure simple enough?
    When sadness drew you went near.-
    ^
    Very effective.
    The ending stanza is also truly powerful.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    One thing that really shows in this poem is either how dark your personality can be .. OR .. just how much your imagination can really roam. Such a good use of really dark powerful imagery, really captivates the reader.

    You seem to have missed a few apostophes in this piece ..
    "Wheres she gone? Your little girl."
    "Theres (There's) only so much a girl can bare (bear)."

    It is a really good deep dark poem, it could do with a little fine tuning though.

    ~Pete.

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    OH MY THIS WAS AMAZING.

    So basically this poem almost made me cry. Each word held such power and punch that it truly imacted me. The beginning was great, you started off slow and told a touching story but the ending was the best, how it held hope and promise.

    Well done *5/5* for sure