Wow I am literally speechless I liked it though there has times I wished I could have the courage to write that and I absolutely loved it even though it was a little graphic anyway you should check out some of mine there not as good but hey I try
I've never liked reading poems like this,
but I have to admit, this one was really good.
There were some grammatical errors,
but that is common with poetry on a site.
The depth and emotion you put in this one,
made everything flow together nicely.
Oops.. lol i kinda gotta little messed up.. haha but i freaking loved this! awesome write again, you are amazing! great work again! loved this line..
It's hurts to know the only kiss ill get from you, is when I'm dead.
so sad... but i loved it! great job again. you are super talented.. great work!
To improve upon:
>consistancy of how you write, even though this was just probably a typo.>>'ill'- I'll.
>flow is more important than rhyme.>>To know you are with somebody else, much pain it brings.- that second part of that line needs to be tweaked to flow.
>try not to use to many cliches, it makes it much more original. [future reference.]
>too many emo poems have invaded this sight and it has gotten to be such a bore. your mention of a cut on your wrist just drove me crazy.>>Because this cut in my wrist is getting pretty deep. - maybe instead say heart, even though i know it's cliche.
well, it's up to you what advice you take.
and thanks for that comment you left on my site. =]