Comments : Ana, You Win

  • 16 years ago

    by Vincent Thornsberry

    This is really good. It lacks nothing in emotion, nor in flow. I think you did a wonderful job of showing the final sucuming into submission, it kind sad though. left goose bumps on my arms, and made the hair in the back of my neck stiffen. good job 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    Awesome. The title is really interesting and the contents are a lot more interesting. Pure talent!!! 5/5 without doubt!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Wow. This is heartbreaking. It brings such a painful realization about what Ana does to you. The poem was beautiful. The flow was flawless, the emotions were so strong and heartfelt, and overall, it was just amazing.

    "This time I wont complain, I'll just follow every rule without a word
    Water will now become my every breakfast, lunch and dinner
    Eventually I'll be beautiful and make us both so very proud
    Each and very day my only goal will be to become even thinner"

    ^^ Love love love this stanza. :) You did a perfect job ending this poem. My only complaint is should the 'very' in the last line be 'every'? Other than that, it was spectacular. Overall: 5.5

    -- Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 16 years ago

    by TinyDancer46

    Wow... this poem gave me goosebumps.

    "Nothing taste as good as thin feels," constantly in my mind
    Staring at all the pretty bodies, and all of the thinspiration

    ^^That is AMAZING. You have expressed this feeling so well... There are many who can relate, including myself. That feeling of trying to fight Ana, yet giving in to her every single day.... Wow.... Thank you for writing this. It is absolutely perfect.

  • 16 years ago

    by Pete

    Truly sad and heartfelt piece of writing.
    It's a very daunting piece to start with, there is just so much text its slightly overpowering. Once you get started .. it's a whole different story.

    You open the readers eyes (especially mine, as im a guy) to the trials, depression and desperation that goes with eating disorders... If the Ana you are talking about is Anorexia .. This is not only a battle for your body back, but also for your mind.

    I have read through some of the comments already left with regards to this poem, and I think I may be waaay off base. If I am this comment will seem complete garbage.

    Life itself is a struggle, life with this kind of disorder must be a truly horrific ordeal. I would normally say, "I can only imagine, how it must feel" but now, with help from your poem, I can not only imagine it .. i can visualise it.

    A wonderful poem written about a terrible affliction.

    ~Pete.

  • 16 years ago

    by Absolute Broken Perfection

    Do you have a myspace or aim or something sweetie?

  • 16 years ago

    by JustKristina

    Wow, very powerful poem! you have a way with words! this poem had wonderful flow and word choice, and was very easily to relate to. I went through this, so i could relate to it from the first line.. way to work! great work! keep it up! :D

  • 16 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    A good read. The structure of the poem when you first look at it seems a little intimidating to read but from the first line i found myself grasped into what you were saying. Your talking to ana, almost like a letter and i think this makes people engaged. The subject of the poem is one that many people can relate to (i know i can) and the emotion seems very real. I can relate alot to what your saying about trying to fight but it seems useless. Heck ive done it alot myself. The last kinda "part" of the poem seems like your subbmitting yourself to anorexia. Its again soemthing many people could probably relate to. And i think that the poem is good for someone who hasnt got any experiance with ED's to kinda understand. Good vocabulary usage. I'd say some parts of your flow seemd a little sketchy but you had a good rhyme scheme. I'd suggest you use more punctuation in your work as it may help you improve your writing. Keep it up. x

  • 16 years ago

    by Angie

    Ana does not win!! You need to kick the biatch out of your head. Ana is causing you more harm than good and you know it. Thin is not such a beautiful thing if you are not healthy enough to enjoy it. Stop listening to her and do it the right way. This write is so emotional and disturbing to me. I love you for who you are inside and out and your beauty radiates from within. So my sweet dizzy teacup, tell Ana to take a hike and get yourself to someone who can truly help you properly...... As always, you know where I am if you need me. And again, you ARE beautiful and I love you.....

  • 16 years ago

    by xxTaegan Emilyxx

    Amazing. a great read.
    xx
    Taegan Emily

  • 16 years ago

    by Fluffy

    ".....Ana, You Win......"

    A friend of mine once wrote a piece based on her fight against bulimia. She too, ended the poem with a "You win, Rachel. You win". That almost killed me.

    After finishing your piece, I felt for some reason that you wouldn't come round to physically dealing with Ana. How wrong I was...because you did.
    You managed to set such a morbid and macabre setting to this piece, which seems impossible to leave as the reader. But that last element of confrontation did not speak 'coward' to me. Rather, 'bravery'. You told her she won. She hasn't. You've won. You've literally exploited this b**** ar** Ana, and in the last ellipses... I saw hope. A hope that says, "….Ana. You win….. for now. This isn't the end of me. I won't let YOU be the end of me".

    I applaud you for writing this, dear.
    Just remember, my love; there is NEVER an end to a fight for life. I may not have physically met you, but you are perhaps one of the very few people I have come to know who suffer from Ana's grasp...but hold such incredible power and courage deep down within themselves.

    Thank you.
    x

  • 16 years ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    This poem hit home for me, as to the fact my girlfriend has one through this struggle and I had to hold her hand through the whole thing. Most poems speak of the troubles with anorexia, but more than normally they do not tell of the battle to give it up and then the downfall. You have given this poem a new perspective for people and honestly... I can barely breathe reading this.

    ""Nothing taste as good as thin feels," constantly in my mind"

    That line is what did me in. I could not explain to you the emotion that that put inside of me and the understanding it caused. I'm sure many many people can relate to a poem like this as to the fact many people have the same struggle written about here. It's unbelievable the way that you put this into words. Everything about this was perfect aside from the fact that the lines with every letter capitalized threw me off. The moral, story, flow and words were perfect. I love this.

    Incredible.