Comments : When You Wish Upon A Star (contest)

  • 11 years ago

    by Shinobi

    A beautiful poem with a very strong message, I like those kind of poems.
    His grandfather always told him,
    Life was like a jigsaw game.
    "You have to put the pieces together
    And for no one shall you change."

    was my favorite stanza...
    I just think you need to fix this line:
    A admirable land with beautiful flowers,
    to: An admirable land with beautiful flowers,
    Amazing work, 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Hmmm wonderful work! i enjoyed how u portrait the story of this poet it has a dept meaning and it was very appreciated, i love the title seems like a very fantastic stories of someone ...very impressive work of urs... just keep on writing and keep it up! 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by JustKristina

    Awww very heart warming!!! i loved it! great work.. you are an amazing poet, and let anyone tell you any different! this poem had great imagry, flow, word choice.. and well it was amazing! lol.. * i wanna house of chocolate! lol* great meaning as well! i love it! i had me smiling! keep it up! :D

  • 11 years ago

    by alwayssofresh16

    This is a really beautiful poem... the flow is very good and it says alot.

    His grandfather always told him,
    Life was like a jigsaw game.
    "You have to put the pieces together
    And for no one shall you change

    was also my favorite 5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by FridusBlueheaven

    This is really great poem. I really like the flow and the rhyme really worked well. Nothing to criticize, well written!!! 5/5 definitely...

  • 10 years ago

    by Loved

    I like this one its cool and why does it say(contest)?

  • 10 years ago

    by Jaymes Haze

    'Once upon a time,
    A young boy wanted to follow his dreams.
    Writing his ideas in a book
    Images bursting from their seams.'

    A captivating intro, makes me think that what I am about to believe is just in the imagination of the boy.

    'He lived in a huge kingdom,
    Full of magical creatures and elves,
    An admirable land with beautiful flowers,
    Where people looked after themselves.'

    This just furthur conveys my imagination idea.
    It would be far too impossible to find a place such as this.

    'His house was made of chocolate,
    His heart blossoming with affection,
    A balance of beliefs and poise
    A character worth protecting.'

    Just a small poetic suggestion.
    The word protection works far better.
    It fits the rhyme better.

    'One day he presented his work,
    --
    "When you wish upon a star".'

    A story book tale presented nicely in poem.
    I wonder if the boy who heard the story took out of it as much as he can to better himself for his future plans.