Comments : Blue.

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    Bert
    This piece really is heartbreakiing.

    Knowing where I should be, That is in bed
    Still I sit here, ceiling fan rotating over head
    Illness is imminent, body in a weakened state
    Some relief I must find, If not create

    This stanza really touched me deeply. These feelings are so sad. Feeling lost and alone is a very painful thing.

    Yawning, mental and physical reserves are spent
    Now I should be relaxing, be content
    I don't know what is left, or what else I can do
    I do know the sky and I have one thing in common, we both are blue.

    There is always a reason to hope.
    Great job!
    Love Cindy

  • 16 years ago

    by debbylyn

    First of all.....perfect title....for the sadness runs throughout....

    Nice rhyme scheme.....beautifully written. Though the flow becomes a little off in the concluding verses, I feel the emotional content is enough to carry the reader from beginning to end. Take care, Debbie

  • 16 years ago

    by Nee

    Oh my God!!!
    last line was totally incredibly awesome!!!!!!!
    god this poem is very beautiful, I just dunno what to say, I'm absolutely Speechless..

    "All alone, the walls are closing in fast
    Unsure on how long things can last"

    these lines are so beautifully written too =]
    oh you made me feel something really good :) thank you for your constant inspiration

    Best of Luck
    keep it up
    xxx

  • 16 years ago

    by dora

    This was such a good poem! very well written xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Hebe

    It's a beautiful poem..
    Very touching and sad.
    Wonderful, that's all I can say about it.
    Take care

  • 16 years ago

    by Princess Love

    Everyone feels this way atleast once in their life. The way you penned this poem is just amazing. Its been ages since I've been here, but glad to read this one. Keep it up friend.

  • 16 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Overall I thought it was an okay piece. There were some bits I didn't like, like the last line (it was too long in my opinion) and some bits that I really liked, like 'Some relief I must find, If not create'. I'm intriguied by the way you structure your lines, very creative, I think.

    Brad

  • 15 years ago

    by Deana

    I was totally drawn in by this write,Maybe because I have the same problem. I could totally relate.you are an excellent writer.