Wow that was really powerful....because in one short poem you were able to explain that this one person is able to hurt another so bad that the only way to take way the pain is to turn to the blade....but i really like this part

"In place of a blade
A pistol lays
Find me remains
But the soul will not wake"

once again as usual beautiful job...5/5

Wow

That was beautifully written. There was so much emotion! I think when you put find me remains you mean find my remains. But the was wonderfully written!

Interesting sad piece, eery and intense.
I don't like rhyme real/meal it sounds forced, because the word "meal" don't fit with the rest of the piece. All in all, you did good job with this poem, created effective imagery. Whole poem is filled with amount of emotions expressed in a good way.

Keep writing!

I think you had a real good idea here but I think you missed the ball instead of explaining what remains in detail you decided to just whine about how down you felt about leaving. Emotional words are good but the truest signiture of a great writer is to involve the reader in thier plight I doubt you reached that here sorry. Plot121

I think you should edit this poem so this part

"An icy blade
To cover this pain
Poor soul that finds my remains"

reads like this:

"An icy blade
To cover this pain
poor soul that finds
my remains"

just trying to help ^_^