Confessions of a confused soul

Facing the world and all it's harshness,
fighting to find the peace in the storm,
struggling hard to hold things together
knowing that everyone counts on me to hold them strong
and give them a shoulder to cry on.

Fighting to hold the tears at bay
as I have to watch the pain of the ones I love
and feeling like I'm lost at sea,
feeling helpless and weak and tired of strife.

Seeing all the mistakes I've made,
the faces of the people I've lost and am losing
and the faces of those I've hurt so bad,
realizing just how wrong I was
to think that I could manage alone.

Realizing just how much I have yet to let go of,
I can't go forward when I'm holding onto the past
but the thing is I know whats back there
and the future scares me so much.

I once knew right where I was going
and just how I was planning to get there
but now I'm confused about what I want,
where I'm headed and how I'm to get there
all I know is what I hope to have once I'm there.

I used to know exactly what to say
and exactly how to handle the issues
but now theres so many things going on
that I can't accept theres nothing to be done for.

Searching desperately for anything sturdy to hold me
and give me the strength I need,
trying to wrap myself safely in the love from my baby
just to get through the days sometimes
but really wishing he could hold me at night.

I know everything happens for a reason
and that struggles only make you stronger
but why does everything happen at once
and how much stronger do I really need to be?