Hehe, well you ruined my comment cause i was going to way this sounds like a song to me, i really like it... 5/5

I liked how it flowed and I could tell it was made to be a song. The emotions were real and ones I could relate with. Beautifully done *5/5*

Good lyric, filled with emotions. It has great flow, and you expressed feelings in a good way. I would really like to hear how this goes with music :)
My favorite stanza is:

-I know sometimes I was mistaken
Sometimes I fail and I'm imperfect
There are moments Ive been careless
And never been aware for some things-

Keep writing!

Great write!^_^
very simple yet emotional
but if this was made into a song, you could either lengthen the verses or add a refrain to make it more 'catchy' to the ears.. just a suggestion..
anyway..this is a 5/5 for me..=D

That was beautifull :)

Okay, let me start off with telling you how amazing this is. The flow was off in a few places, but if I heard it sung it might, and probably would be completely different. :]

I can't fairly comment on it because it is a song, and I've not heard it sung - BUT, those lyrics are amazing.
with great emotion, great wording.
you've done a wonderful job with these lyrics, darling.

i loved it. :]
5/5

Okay, let me start off with telling you how amazing this is. The flow was off in a few places, but if I heard it sung it might, and probably would be completely different. :]

I can't fairly comment on it because it is a song, and I've not heard it sung - BUT, those lyrics are amazing.
with great emotion, great wording.
you've done a wonderful job with these lyrics, darling.

i loved it. :]
5/5

Awe. very beautiful and nicely written. :]
it was cute and very alluring, to read.
i love it. :] 5/5.

This is alright
sence it's your first song
I know you'll get better
I'm a song writer so
this is really around my
territory
next time just a small hint
just let the rhythm flow thru you
then write everything down
and edit later
it works
4/5
kaila

As i was reading thru this i found my self with a tune in my head then i get to the bottom of page and you say it was ment as a song .... great work great song and great to see something with a true melody in it thanks for shareing your work

Amazing and beautiful! ill be sure to hold onto my love!
5/5

I thought this was beautiful.

The feelings you placed into this piece are fantastic, they were easily felt throughout the piece.

"Oh my love, my darling please don't go
Stay beside me and hold on
Yeah! Just hold onto your love "

^^ What a beautiful opening. So heart warming and hopeful and filled with so much passion that I'm instantly drawn into the piece.

I also liked this as the repetition part, I thought it worked very well and got your point across wonderfully without becomingto much.

"Ive been foolish but I love you so
I promise I wont be the same
Cause you're my love
And it will never change"

^^ I adore this part...the wanting, the hoping, the longing, and needing..you portrayed the feelings of being in love so very well here.

The only thing I wasn't to keen on was the constant use of filler words. (I, you, and, the etc) as I thought it messed up your flow at some points. Eliminate some of those ans you'll be surprised how much smoother the flow automatically becomes.

Other than that though, great job with this.

A song? I like it either way. It brings back memoreis from so long ago. Just like it should. Keep it coming.

It's good. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it.

This poem has a powerful message. You picked a good stanza to be the repeating chorus. Incredibly good for your first try at song lyrics. ^.^

Cute poem, sounds like it'd be a great song! Sing it for me ;)! I like the way this was written, and the stanza's/verses were worded beautifully! Nice work, 5/5

I don't like this too much.
I am always absolutely honest in my comments and I don't want to offend you this is just my opinion:
1. First of all the fact that you capitalized ending line left truly negative impression on me cause that seems like a yelling to me.
2. I think that you could create more powerful atmosphere with more unique choice of words.
Other than that nice poem, it is little too obvious and typical for my taste but you still expressed your feelings on a good way.

Very cute, cute.
I like it. The fact that it didn't rhyme and
the sylables in each stanza were of it through
the flow off. But other than that..very nice
and cute poem. :)
5/5
<3tay

This is pretty good for a first timer...it reminded me of my bf..hes hurt me alot but he keeps telling me to hold on to his love.

good job.5/5

Sooooooooo gooood