Trying To Forget Everything That Isn't You

Nothing I could say could mean anything more
Than the words I couldn't say as you walked out the door.
I choked on the syllables of the stupid words -
Wishing to God that maybe somehow you heard.
But I'll mix myself just another numbing drink;
Hoping it'll kill my sense enough to think.
But every sip just makes it that much harder -
And I don't know if I can go much farther.
I'm just trying to make myself remember more,
But it's causing me to wind up passing out on the floor.
The "escape from reality" kills me that much quicker,
Faster than anything could - even the liquor.
I'm trying to drown out all the old memories;
I'm only concentrating on the you and me -
But just look at the hypocrite I've slowly become,
The alcohol dulls my senses until I'm completely numb.
After all the fights and all the screams,
I'm the one who screw up her dreams.
After I told you now to, look who has the empty bottles,
And now I'm hooked on drinks like Vodka and Full Throttle.
I just couldn't imagine that you would ever leave,
It's something I'm still not ready to believe.
I watched you walk out the door, but I couldn't stop you -
Your image swirled around and there was nothing I could do.
Through a drunken stare, I saw you one last time;
I could never imagine what the following hours would leave behind.
While I finished yet another bottle, you got into your car,
You drove around for hours but you never got very far.
By the time you stopped, I was too far gone to even care -
Yet, when I found out, it was too much for me to bear.
They knocked on my door and they told me the news,
I knew then and there, there was a decision to choose.
I couldn't let the only thing to come between us kill me too,
But when you are addicted, there's nothing you can do.
So I had my last glass of Scottish Whiskey -
Hoping that no one would really miss me.
I carved your name onto my death wish,
As I blew your picture my last goodbye kiss.
As my last thoughts came and went on through,
I realized I was Trying To Forget Everything That Isn't You