Comments : Ode to the Teenager/Self-Discrimination

  • 16 years ago

    by Alexandra Jade Brewer

    This isn't your best. I still like the message, but I think you've used better choice of words in other poems.

  • 16 years ago

    by FlawlesslyTarnished

    I liked the message and this poem has a lot
    of meaning and truth in it. the flow was great
    and the first 3 stanzas were amazing. the last
    stanza was good too, but i didn't feel much
    closure in this poem. .i dunno, maybe it's
    suppose to be like that. (; . and a great write
    nonetheless. 5/5. :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Erica

    I really liked this poem. i loved the message you sent. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Not

    This another great poem...at times i lost the message but the second time i got it.!! good work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Interesting poem, I think that you could make a more powerful atmosphere with some better choice of words but that is just my opinion. Anyway very creative write, every stanza is truly original which is great. To be honest this is a nice poem but it didn't impress me too much.
    Keep up!

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    I just loved the the message you protrayed here! It was so filled with truth and meaning. I think the flow could have been better because you did force some rhymes but on in all a great read. *5/5*

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Okay, I can't really give you critisim without mentioning things such as grammar, flow, etc. Soo.. I'm giving you my honest thoughts.

    ~Flow: It was kind of iffy, I guess I didn't really enjoy the flow all that much. It was kind of tough to read without having to stop. It was kind of rocky. Maybe use some better rhyming words, this will help the poem flow better.

    ~Overall message: It was pretty thoughtful, I loved the message and thought that you brought out the meaning of the poem so that everybody would notice it.

    Overall, I would say to improve this poem.. Use some larger words, keep the rhyme of the poem but make sure that your words that rhyme aren't too forced, because that definatly throws off the flow. The flow on this poem was probably the only thing I myself would fix if I were you. Otherwise, the overall message of the poem was clear, and pretty interesting. I thought it was a pretty original poem on your part. Great work. 5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by Silent Screams

    Hmmm..I really like this one. It makes me want to read others..And i think i will. =D
    All in all 5/5 ^-^

  • 14 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Now how shouold I critique this one? First to tell you that, as I'm sure you know, the rhythm is off in three out of four stanzas(I know that doesn't matter, except to me at times) Second, it seems you have put to well written verse the conflict we OLDER persons have when raising/educating the less mature of our species.