Daddy, Believe

by BrixGoesxRawr   Jan 20, 2008


You're down deeper than you've ever been [your lowest low]
You look around and there's no place for you to go
All you see is a type of darkness that surrounds you
You hate the feeling, you feel terrible [but you can't help yourself]

Feeling so alone, no place to run to
No one to help you through all of it
Like you're the only person in the world
Feeling exactly how you feel

You feel so useless, like you can't do anything
Like you let every person that you love down
You think they all hate you, think you're pathetic
All because of one little hit, that's all it took

But, daddy, I'm here to tell you; you're never alone
You never are, never will be, never have to be
I'm always here for you and I pray that you know that
Yes, I get angry at you, but I love you so much

Remember: I will always be here, through it all
No matter what happens, I'll stick around
We can get through all this, you just have to believe
Tell me anything I can do, and it will be done

You can always talk to me, if you're feeling down
I promise I'll listen to your every word
No matter what it's about, if you tell me you need me
I promise not to get angry -- I'll just listen to you

Daddy, look at the bright sun, isn't it amazing?
And what about the stars shining so brightly in the night
That's nature, daddy. That's life. That's pure beauty.
Imagine it, think about it, smell it, feel it

Let life take over your soul
Smile & be happy, daddy
Cause this is the only life we have
And it can be over in a second

- Dad, I love you so much, more than you will ever know. I'm always here for you, I promise you that. I will never leave you. We can get through this, together okay? Tell me what to do, Dad. Anything. Cause I'll do it. I just want to see you happy, again. Smiling and so cheerful. Dad, I miss it. Don't you remember when I was a little kid? Standing up on your back in the pool, do you remember that? The happy days? Because I do. I remember it like it was yesterday. And remember.. How when you & Mommy split up.. You used to come over at night & read the bible to me & scilla & sacha. You might not know it.. But those are things I will never forget, and they mean the world to me. Dad, I just want you to be happy.. I love you.-

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Synh

    Aw... really sad... unfortunately for me, I can't feel the true impact on it seeing as my parents are still together but it just makes me appreciate having 1 house rather than 2.

    My only criticisms are that you used 'you' way too much and that some of your lines repeated themselves. Also, I think you could maybe switch some stanzas around to help the flow a little bit. Other than that, great poem. I give it a 4.5, which, lucky you, rounds up to a 5 :)

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Punctuation at the end of each line that needs it would be very helpful in recognizing the flow =]

    "I'm here to tell you; you're never alone" in this line, the semi-colon would be better fit as a mere colon.

    "Daddy, look at the bright sun, isn't it amazing?
    And what about the stars shining so brightly in the night
    That's nature, daddy. That's life. That's pure beauty.
    Imagine it, think about it, smell it, feel it"

    -this line was incredibly poetic, extremely insightful, and in-depth in life. I read this line and I thought that it made the whole poem that much better. It teaches you that sometimes, the whole poems' well-being liays on just on line or verse, and with it you make it and without it it's broken. Ya made it! =]

    The whole poem was wholly inspiring. It didn't make me wanna write a poem, it just kinda made me wanna sit on this seat and smile about life in general. Your poem is the basis about what every family should be like: helpful to one another, loving eachother unconditionally. I am on of those people who doesn't listen to his own advice, and I hate my father. It's nice to see someone who has such a good relationship with theirs, which is something I would never even dream of having. Your father is lucky to have you!

    Wonderful job on this poem. It was deep and honest, and although there wasn't a sense of syllabication, the poem still flowed.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White