Perfect.

by BECCA lessTHANthree   Jan 21, 2008


And I just sat there,
Waiting.

Waiting for you to say something,
Anything.

Anything at all, say no,
Scream.

Scream I love you, I need you,
Please.

Please rewind me. Fix this,
Fix it.

Don't.

We are broken.
Now.
Forever.

Forever, because the floor was open for you...
Speak.

Speak nothing.
You did it right--Perfect.

1


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Latest Comments

  • 4 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Nicely written

  • 15 years ago

    by Shinobi

    This poem is unique in it's writing. Almost every last word of a stanza opens the following one. There are no rhymes, but guess it's your style. The words carry a strong message, and I liked how you played with them.

    Nice job on this one 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by H E Losey

    Very nice write! I would enjoy seeing you continueing you scheme of last word leading off next stanza, I guess I prefer continuity. But in the end I do enjoy this piece.

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I like the structure of this poem except:

    ^^Anything at all, say no,
    Scream.

    I love you, I need you,
    Please.^^

    Throughout the rest of the poem he last word is the first word of the next line except in the highlighted area above. I think if you fix that, the poem is excellent, creative and thought provoking. Nicely done!

  • 16 years ago

    by Viola

    Perfect. I LOVE it. Sometimes saying nothing means the most. Silence can hold a lot of meaning. I really like the concept and the short lines. It's writen in a unique way..and I like that. Great work! =] keep it up.
    --Viola

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