Everytime You Put A Smile On (I Fall Ten Feet For You)

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jan 23, 2008


No doubt I'm falling fast for you,
aware there's nothing I can do,
cause every time I see your face
back in my head these feelings race.

Can't help it, stop it; Can't control it;
don't know how I'll manage holding
all these feelings deep inside
and through my teeth right to you: lie.

It's hard to put a smile on
aware you have no clue
that every time you put a smile on
I fall ten feet for you.

Dreams just aren't the same
since you've consumed them with your face;
Wishing I had nightmares
so the fantasies would fade.

I do not wish for love back,
just that sometime I'll soon return
to when I didn't even know you,
when this lust had yet to churn.

I don't want love to interfere
with goals I've planned to tackle here;
I want you gone! Oh, Won't you leave!
Please, won't you just stop haunting me?!

But still, you stay, and still, I dream
regardless of my desperate pleads;
At night, I dream of fertile love
I know shall never come about.

I don't want to love you more,
no longer fall down towards the floor;
Don't want to fall ten feet again,
so won't you please stop smiling?

Hope I did the title justice =]

Thanks for reading,
please comment and/or vote honestly and accordingly.

Thanks again,
~Stephen White

(woot woot, my bday!)

:o the first 911 poem on the sight!

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by JEFF

    Your really good, puts my work to shame...lol.

  • 16 years ago

    by Viola

    How I love it. And that title is just so perfect. I love the ending, it made me smile. Such a beautiful poem of love.
    This really is amazing. keep it up! =]
    --Viola

  • 16 years ago

    by ABake

    So here it goes. Stephen, I really love your titles. This one is awesome as well. So lets get started..

    First stanza: Well, not a boring opening but not the best.
    I liked it though, quite simple with the original rhyme scheme.
    Not bad there Mr. Lol. The feelings are kinda cliche in an adorable lovey dovey way...

    Second stanza: Oh boy. I loved that first line. I really did. Your punctuation is used but not to the fullest again
    I think that this issue is just me. Im a HUGE punctuation freak. Lol. But I still love your work.
    Do not get me wrong now. Anyways, back to the poem. I also loved the second line.
    I loved the : it had a hold on the way I read it. Pausing the continue reading. Get it right?
    Either way loved it.

    Third stanza: Aww. This one made me smile. It is such simple wording but it means a lot.
    It expresses a feeling that not all are blessed with and in an amazing way.
    I love it :]]

    Fourth stanza: Oh boy, I love the two first lines and your punctuation is back in buisness.
    But the dream thing is wonderful. Made me smile AGAIN. Then the next two lines continue on the beauty
    of the whole peice. I love it. You set a certain tone and stick to it. The whole nightmare dream thing is
    great..

    Fifth stanza: This stanza was kind of confusing for me. The second line is what got me.
    I mean it makes sense yet it doesn't. But the flow is smooth and your rhyme is still going
    strong and not yet fading into the backgroud at all. A great thing by the way...

    Sixth stanza: While I can relate to this one with the love interfering with your WHOLE life. For me,
    it just did not fit in with the peice. I guess to mood kind of went to being leave I don't want you here.
    But not completely it holds its relevance [sp] Hmm. Your flow is amazingly smooth though...

    Seventh stanza: Aww. The sadness stays. I loved the first line though. Its beautiful.Your word choice
    made an impact with this one. The word about, for me, kind of threw the peices rhyme off. This is just
    my opinion though. Still a great stanza.

    Eighth: Oh how sweet and what a perfect way to end the peice. Its flawless. Completely. Just wonderful.
    I don't have any complaints. Lol.

    Overall, this peice besides my little nit picking issues is amazing. Very heartfelt and the emotions expressed
    were true. Great job sweetie. 5.5

    Amber.

  • 16 years ago

    by Krista

    Wow. I loved it.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by RB

    That was pretty great
    it just seemed very real
    but original at the same time
    i loved it
    5/5 :):)

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