Aye dizz is rlly good keep up da work ma goof writez

Ok first off verse one last line flip it around 'the tears stream from my eyes' that should fix the flow problem that through off the verse. Next its great. But if your still stuck on this guy you need to get out and meet some new people. Thats how you grow and expan your writing.

This one is definately going on my faves list. I was wondering if you used da instead of the on purpose? Just curious. the theme of the poem is one I really like. The emotion is really good too. I did want to tell you that the first stanza, last two lines don't rhyme. I don't know if that was on purpose or not but the rest of the stanzas rhyme so I wanted to point it out just in case. <3<3 5/5