Quotes by Licentia

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  • My last loving relationship involved a spare electrical outlet at an airport departure gate.

    1 year ago
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  • Why is the speed limit in a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles.

    1 year ago
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  • Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.

    1 year ago
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  • Lesson learned: toddlers don't understand sarcasm. As a side note, don't say 'bite me' around toddlers that don't understand sarcasm.

    1 year ago
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  • I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that's the last thing I need.

    1 year ago
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  • I'm not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.

    1 year ago
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  • "This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks

    1 year ago
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  • Relationship status : Taken (for granted)

    1 year ago
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  • Wow, I've been on the No Sugar Diet for one day and have already lost ... my will to live.

    1 year ago
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  • If Caitlyn Jenner can win woman of the year I see no reason why Donald Trump's hair can't win the Westminister Kennel Club Dog Show.

    1 year ago
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