Comments : Tainted Sunday.

  • 15 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Alright. :) This is good, but I believe it could have been better. No offense.

    <Always that much more tempting!>

    Don't put the explanation mark, but a period. :)

    “Always so much more tempting.”

    And on your introduction, "by" is supposed to be "author". :) All in all, I thought it was very heartfelt, and I will be hand on heart honest with you, because I believe a true poet does just that... so, here's how it is. :)

    I thought this poem was good, but you ask a whole lot of questions, try explaining it better, and space it more. :) And on...

    <Did you wish it was her you were celebrating your love with?
    Her sharing [My] perfect weekend with you?>

    Preference?

    "Was it a wish to you for her to be able to honor your love? For her to take away my perfect weekend and share it with you?”

    I'm not trying to be rude, :) but I believe in dreams and if you work extra hard, you will accomplish yours. :)

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Kayla

    Elaine.. this poem really showed a part of you in it. Your worries, your feelings, and your fears. You made them all so clear for the reader to see. I would hate to be in that situation, actually. It supposed to be about love but you're so afraid he is wishing you were someone else, a perfect little barbie doll. A lot of girls fear this. It's a universal problem. We all strive to be perfect, but in this piece you showed that no matter what, there will always be someone more "perfect" than you. No matter what you do to your hair, the foods you eat, someone else is more appealing. I really loved it, especially because I know you personally and know where you were coming from when you wrote this. Love ya, sweetie. Great job.. keep it up! 5/5 <3 <3 <3

    ~Kayla~

  • 15 years ago

    by Hollymariee

    .. You seem so self concious in your writting . Thinking you're never good enough , and that she's always better . But for real , he missess you . You wouldn't imagine how stupid they feel after they've taken something good for granted . I hear that ALL the time . Good flow and use of punctuation .. It made things meaningful . Congrats . Once again , 5/5