Comments - Concrete Waves

Ice Crystals ( F C D ) at 2012-02-21

I thought this was a very good poem. The imagery of concrete waves was done well along with everything tieing together. The emotion is really felt here also. Sorry for your loss. Nice write. :)

Dagmar Wilson ( F P C D ) at 2012-02-21

I really enjoyed it. Very beautiful written

The Poet Behind The Poems ( F P C D ) at 2012-02-24

One of the best poems ive ever read in a poetic way word choice and flow were good but from my heart its so powerful the truth really hits home when you read somthing like this ... people stay blind to whats happening outside there walls flawless piece ... writing about true things n showing people thing they may not have seen is why i write awesome

god bless

Nicko ( F P C D ) at 2012-02-26

I too am from Christchurch and lost a cousin that day... its ceaseless endless...

thanks for sharing, a powerfull read

Ms Sunshine ( F P C D ) at 2012-02-27

Weekly Contest, Judges comments:

I think it can be really difficult to write well about a tragic incident. In some ways, it's "too close" to write about. You've done a very good job of taking something close to your heart and expressing it poetically, without it coming off as laboured. I commend you for that.

Unless you have lived through it, it's hard to realize how long the effects of things like natural disasters can linger on. You just assume that by now, everything has been fixed up and smoothed over. Your image of "concrete waves," 12 months later, shatters that illusion. The people who live through these disasters can't simply survive that first day and call it a win - they have to survive the day after that, and the day after that, with constant physical and emotional reminders. In this case, there is also the underlying fear that another aftershock will occur: a tension that you aptly described in this piece.

The ending is superb.
----

tiebreaker's comment:

Ghastly, crazy - your stark image of the concrete torn upright like a frozen wave conveys the surreal terror of the quake and its aftermath. The one thing you believe you can always count on suddenly explodes from under your feet. This work depicts the betrayal of earth and its impact on real people so well that you cannot help but trust the resilience of the protagonist, even though you can understand that it will take much longer to come back

Misshapenheart21 ( F P D ) at 2012-02-27

This poem was so amazing. It was emotional and detailed. It made me understand even more the pain people feel when earthquakes happen and after. I've never experienced a bad earthquake but I've felt small ones from far away and even that scared people where I live. This poem tells a story. Excellent job!

ronel mccarthy ( F C D ) at 2012-02-29

Great meaningful poem

gonul at 2012-03-01

VERY GOOD

Ashurii Vuong ( F P C ) at 2012-05-23

Wow so beautiful! your emotions in every line i felt. i could picture every line in my head as well. what a tragic thing to have to go through..

But my dreams are surrounded
by sirens and screaming and
cathedral bells escaping
God's hand,

amazing lines! i loved those the most! you have such a vivid imagination, however i am sure nothing in this poem was imaginary but from your very own experience. the last line as well i also adored about paving the waves in red. a wonderful ending to such a beautiful and touching poem. do keep writing, i enjoy reading your work. i wish you the best of luck and hope all is well where you are.

Ash

Larry Chamberlin the Godfather ( F P C D ) at 2012-09-04

My old Comment as tiebreaker:

Ghastly, crazy - your stark image of the concrete torn upright like a frozen wave conveys the surreal terror of the quake and its aftermath. The one thing you believe you can always count on suddenly explodes from under your feet. This work depicts the betrayal of earth and its impact on real people so well that you cannot help but trust the resilience of the protagonist, even though you can understand that it will take much longer to come back.

Nema ( F C D ) at 2012-10-14

I've been too emotional lately, and this poem made it worse lol. I'm really a fan of your poetry and what it holds. Not to mention that writing about a personal experience is never an easy thing. Chapeau :)

"Sometimes I get lonely,
wondering whether that sound
is a quake or a train
while bricks keep falling.
But my dreams are surrounded
by sirens and screaming and
cathedral bells escaping
God's hand,"
^
I LOVE this stanza, especially the first few lines. I couldn't feel more lonely. Always has it been that the thing we're surrounded with the most keeps haunting us in dreams, like it wasn't enough already.

I love this and I love you for writing it. Keep writing and shining and inspiring :)
~


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