The purpose of this piece and the voice turned out really well here. I think the rhymes feel a bit forced and your flow is sorta choppy, but its still a decent piece. A very well done piece.

I agree with Adreamer, rhymes and flow weren't as smooth as they could have been! Also something with the first line just doesn't seem right.. "Why must I met you"?
Aside from that it was good, keep up the good work! xo