Comments : Selfharming scars

  • 9 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    I no longer cut,
    But the temptation is still there,
    Just one cut,
    Will lead to another,
    There's no return,
    If i do it again,
    After all I did say I quit.
    ^^
    I like how you went straight to the point of the poem at the start without all the sugar coating. Self harm is serious and out outlined it so well :)
    I love the differing perspectives of your thoughts it displays a good sense of realism!

    No more burning the skin on my arms,
    Of feeling the flesh melt away, It's staying there,
    Now for good,
    And has made a firm home no moving away.
    ^^
    Great way to bring imagery into the readers vision, so deeply depicted that the words put pictures in my head. You have definitely demonstrated a strength here as you are backing away from self harm and putting it out of your way - brings a lot of hope to the poem

    I stress a lot pulling at my hair,
    No more bald patches,
    Of darkening despair,
    I've learned to cope,
    With a stress ball install,
    And longer hair than ever before.
    ^^
    I like how you have interwoven the past with the present it lets the reader see how much your life has transformed and changed

    I'm happier now then ever before,
    But this is the mask I always perform,
    I haven't stopped selfharming,
    It's a hard addiction to stop,
    Like alcohol and drugs, It'll make my heart stop,
    I just hope that I will get to say, "I tried my best, for all of you"
    ^^
    This stanza takes hope away but in the same way displays how hard it is. You are right self harm is addictive and it is as lethal as drugs and alcohol, I like the link it is so true!

    Great write overall
    5/5 from me

    • 9 years ago

      by britanny

      Thank you so much for your comment and feed back. i loke how you have wrote my poem in the comment but in its stanza you wrote what you liked about it.. thank you so much for the time to read my poems and if you havent already red my other ones

      :) thanks again

    • 9 years ago

      by britanny

      Thank you so much for your comment and feed back. i loke how you have wrote my poem in the comment but in its stanza you wrote what you liked about it.. thank you so much for the time to read my poems and if you havent already red my other ones

      :) thanks again

    • 9 years ago

      by britanny

      Thank you so much for your comment and feed back. i loke how you have wrote my poem in the comment but in its stanza you wrote what you liked about it.. thank you so much for the time to read my poems and if you havent already red my other ones

      :) thanks again

    • 9 years ago

      by britanny

      Thank you so much for your comment and feed back. i loke how you have wrote my poem in the comment but in its stanza you wrote what you liked about it.. thank you so much for the time to read my poems and if you havent already red my other ones

      :) thanks again

  • 9 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Your very welcome Britanny, your a talented writer :)