Comments : Angel in the Sky

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    I'll comment later love still in school, love this poem it touches my poor heart 5/5

    -Mori

  • 9 years ago

    by alka mendiratta

    What a touching write Jad.
    Touched by the last stanza the most.
    The pain of the beloved is unbearable,a longing to join her in heaven .
    Love the title as you describe your love.

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Memories flood my mind like a river,
    breaking mental dams. Cascading, slowly
    down my face as I relive our life.
    ^
    I've had those moments where I just break down in the middle of the street where I start to cry when I remember a loved one that died so I know this stanza all too well. The pain that just stabs you in the heart and won't let go until you finally bleed sad first stanza but still beautiful

    Setting the chaos inside my heart to rest,
    your smile always brightened my day.
    Once so strong and now a broken mess,
    my love, like our memories, hides itself away.
    Yet, I hurt to remember what once could be
    because you were always the better part of me.
    ^
    I like how it flowed and love is always like this. It's painful and it's heartbreaking because you think of so many things while you can do while still together and then...reality comes into site. Very sad and I love how you described her

    Your gentle kiss on my forehead. -taking my hand,
    holding me close, loving me at my worst-
    Changing me from a broken man,
    you gave me life like a poet to a verse,
    but years have taken their toll,
    and I lie here afraid and cold.
    ^
    Awe teh memories so do hurt here in the heart. I have given up love but this would've made me cry had I been able to feel anything towards love...the imagery and the emotions from this one stanza is off the charts in pain filled.

    But this pain and longing will subside
    because soon I'll join my Angel in the sky.
    ^
    Ever realistic since you know you won't live forever I enjoyed it very much! This couplet is nice and to the point not to mention ends the poem very nicely. 5/5

    -Mori

  • 9 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    Aw such a heart touching write Austin.... Can feel both your love and pain in it.

    Have missed reading your heartfelt writes.... ( in my absence) and am looking forward to catching up with your poems!

    Very well written and expressed

  • 9 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    My boyfriend is dying, I feel you.

  • 9 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    Wawooooooooo peom
    where i get confused " The Fairy Marry Poppins" description helps me

    Well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    This floods me with memories and the images are just moving.

    you gave me life like a poet to a verse,

    ^^This particular line stood out for me. It says/shows how much this person has created you or made you to who you are now. A good poet pens a beautiful and meaningful verse..like so a good person creates another good person. I can't explain it but that line is very moving.

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Jad left me speechless this week!

    He crafted a very unique mixture of rhyme and just pure elegance. Love the mixture in the stanzas with this piece! The sadness of losing a love... sighs... When writing a sad poem it is important to display the message, but then you go back and craft it- With elegance and vibrancy of a unique rhyme scheme... that takes heart, talent and just wow!!