Comments : For you I smile

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Hello, Welcome to PnQ!

    I was reading your poem and I thought I'd point out what caught my attention.

    First, I noticed there's a typo. If you take a look at the first line, there are two apostrophes. --> It''s.

    I Know, it sounds a bit picky but it doesn't hurt to edit it that way other readers won't get distracted by it and they could focus on the content of the poem.

    And second, there are many things one can say about the content of the poem. My first thought, you care for that someone. Though by reading some of the lines, I feel that you are putting a facade like you are showing to that other person that everything is okay when in reality isn't.

    And in the end, one can say that something went wrong with the relationship, could it have been a lack of communication? or something else...

    Your poem makes one ponder about that, at least it did to me.

    Keep writing.