Comments : Pain Immortal

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This is a great piece for the topic - it sounded cool but I was idealess so I'm really glad you gave it a shot and did so well I love the style you chose as well. Your word choice really fits the topic and your creativity definitely shows through here. Nice job :)

    "So I begin again.
    To smooth the cracks within
    and paper over hurts
    with thin veneer.
    It will not last.
    Yet I would rather pain
    than numbness,
    through the endless time
    till breaks the world."

    ^This is my favorite stanza, amazing job

  • 9 years ago

    by CuteThingsGoneWrong

    I usually don't like the atmosphere of how this feels but this worked perfectly for the prompt. A strange apathy of hate and pain but bottled inside so that no one sees it, yet not wanting to feel that way so you try to fix it on you own; Alone. I think that fits perfectly with this.

    The feeling of loneliness here is overwhelming because you can see that no matter what you do here you will fall alone and you'll always get up alone.

    All in all i love at the end how the person decided that they will decide to try to love again which is what i was curious on in the first place. Amazing <3 :D Truly.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I always find this topic moving - what would it be like to be immortal? I remember watching Highlander as a teenager and being really moved by it. This immortal man who loses his wife to old age when he hadn't aged a day......all playing to the heart breaking "who wants to live forever" by Queen.
    Excellent Cassie.