Comments : Blank Space

  • 8 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Temptation tastes so sweet
    as it pulls me even closer to the edge.

    Convincing whispers promising to take me
    to a better world than the trap I am currently in.

    ^ I love the first stanza here, First of all the word temptation is used well here in my opinion. There can many ways to use it and you showed us how sad and or dark it can be. Also it tells me a lot about this character. Depression fills their bones to the core, and getting closer to the edge of death is ever more tempting to them. It is difficult living that way I feel, but sometimes it over powers us a lot of time. I love the continuation of the second stanza it plays m ore along with the story, The whispers are there and they want to take you to a better world then the hell you are in now, its like you survived this world and nothing else can hurt you.

    Life is only temporary,
    death is for eternity.

    Like a balloon set free,
    I can finally feel myself floating away,
    and my unvisited tombstone will be nothing but a blank space;

    a reminder of what I was worth.

    * WOW this ending as a whole is wonderful and it continues the sad feelings you hold inside. and you are right life is only temporary and death is forever. sometimes pain is so difficult to live with that we need something to pushes us. and when we die it may feel like there is a weight lifted off us. I like the interesting wording you used here though. I think what you are saying is that you are just a blank space, or someone who wont be remembered. You are a shadow in this life, but after you die then none of this will matter. I love this poem Saffie, as it rings true in a lot of peoples lives. 5/5