Comments : Advanced Stages

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I think I've said before, but you really do write beautifully. The poetry of your work comes across as effortless. "No colour left in skin translucent as a fairy's wing" - sad but beautiful at the same time.

  • 8 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    As a fairies wing and stretched out

    fairy's wing - because there is only one fairy in this situation, so you are just showing belonging and not plural.

    Same for poppies juice, it would be poppy's juice, although you could just use poppy juice.

    Great metaphors in this poem, and the opening was great to show those eyes and somehow the beauty of them and how they used to be has been washed away.

    The poem itself is so touching and powerful, and I am glad you picked cancer as your topic for the prompt because it was perfectly fitting and you wrote such a moving poem with it. I could understand this poem well, as you described the battle clearly. It is such an unfair fight, and it really does take a lot away from the person suffering.

    You done well on this challenge, well done.

  • 8 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    Thanks so much Saffie, edited Fairy but leaving poppies as multiple poppies are used in the creation of the drug.