Comments : Setting.

  • 8 years ago

    by GB

    Your imagery is mind-blowing, "the sun sitting in my vein", enchanting in every sense, and that melancholic tone through out the poem, it makes the reader following your words eagerly to know what behind these sad words/thoughts.

    I just wish your title was "please forgive me, God". I don't think "sitting" was a good title for such great writing.

    Very enjoyable, MaryAnne.

  • 8 years ago

    by Sunshine

    The title! That was catchy and well thought of, thought this was going somewhere different..(1st impression).

    The verses are well fabricated, as in sentence structure and metaphors. Your opening verse was vague in a very positive sense. And your closing phrase was a surprise and not what the reader would really expect.

    There is a lot to be praised in regard of your imagination in this piece, so really well done with your wording and thanks for sharing.

    Good luck!