Comments : Broken

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Wonderful and powerful write - and welcome to pnq!
    All the very best,
    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by Shruti

    Strong emotions in such short simple lines....nice.
    I love the last line.

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Very powerful imagery here. The rhyming and short bursts of dynamic descriptives really brought the imagery alive. The only tiny thing I would mention and was the self stump into oblivion, I felt it might have been self slump or slumped into oblivion but that's probably because I view things very visually and stump didn't quite sit right with me. That aside it's still an excellent visual poem. The second one I have read of yours and I am looking forward to reading more. Milly x