Comments : Water's Edge

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello,

    When I first read this I was miffed. I decided to re-read as I thought there must be more...

    There was and I received a shock. A girl, very young a child who knew no better.

    The fact you started the poem with the sea's energy and it engulfing her, extinguishing her life like a candle.

    Descibing her deep breath was hear breakingly sad. The image of her floating away from the dark surface, drowning with her last memories fading as her life ebbs away.

    The world had been warned of the dangers; and the world failed her from reaching her potential.

    A tragic story well written and presented in a way I had to read twice - I'm glad I did too!

    Nominated!

    Take care,

    Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Greatly done.