Comments : Heart Inflamed (two English sestets segueing into syntuit)

  • 8 years ago

    by Mayday

    I really like this!! Ugh, I have an idea of what I think this poem may be about but I don't want to sound silly if I'm completely wrong! o.o
    Your choice of metaphor, your style and the ending to this was excellent. I loved this the part the most;

    never again to return

    leaving me alone
    in surprising cold twilight
    truly burned out.

    5/5

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      There's nothing silly in giving your interpretation. Sometimes I need it to see if what I intended came across.

      Thank you!

  • 8 years ago

    by Darren

    Why bother with one form when you can mash a few together, (or at least move from one to another)

    I am stealing the last one

    Love the single line, it reads like a reflection, a pause in proceedings.

    Very strong emotionally, thought provoking at the same time.

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Darren, I am honored you like the form. Personally I agree about the transition line - we should come up with a connector-form and dub it segue.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    The description you use is so captivating and flawless it helps the poem run smoothly.

  • 8 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Really like the imagery and in particular the lines: desire leads to conflagration,
    even cold hands sear sensation.

  • 7 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment

    Bias is a term tossed around on this site from time to time. One such complaint is that a Mod has won the weekly or received an HM. Even Mods feel like they have won because they are a Mod.
    I find myself in a funny situation this week, I have picked two Mods for the weekly contest.
    Neither have anything to do with the fact they are Mods.
    I DID score this poem 10 points at first. I have read all 30 poems nominated and this was the best of the bunch. No repetition of words or phrases, no spelling mistakes. The forms written true to the boundaries of said forms.......until I triple checked.
    According to my syllable counter friend (google) burned is 1 syllable. Which means that the third line of the syntuit is only 4 syllables. Therefore I have to give this 7 points. The reason I still score this poem at all is because of two things, firstly 'Burned' could be pronounced as two in certain parts of the world. (Scotland comes to mind ;-) )
    The second and most important reason is because the poem oozes class. It has so much light and shade that it sings when you read it. Hence why a musical term has been used in the title 'sequeing'
    still worthy of 7 points.

  • 7 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comment 2

    When I first offered my services as a judge many terms ago, I set myself some basic rules. The most important one I set myself was not to award points to a poem that was nominated the week before. I have a cut off point of one week. So if I am judging on a Friday I only go back as far as the previous Friday. I have also never awarded points to the same poem twice, until now.
    I relegated Larry's poem from 10 points to 7 last week because the form was off, this has been fixed. So now I am awarding this poem 10 points. I am not sure whether this is in the rules or not to score the same poem two weeks consecutively. It certainly breaks my own.
    As I said last week this poem is excellent, I have read all nominated poems tonight and for me this is still the best of the bunch. 10 points.